You say you love yourself.
You post quotes, say affirmations, and maybe even do the face masks and journal in pastel notebooks.☺️
Those are all lovely, but let’s talk choices.
Look closely at your daily decisions—your morning routine, how you eat, how you talk to yourself, how you let people treat you, the things you tolerate, what you keep postponing, what you keep escaping from, who you keep going back to, what you keep feeding your mind with, what you spend your time and energy chasing.
Is this how someone who loves themselves lives?
If I were handed a logbook of your daily actions for the past one week, would I nod in agreement that, yes, this person is definitely operating from a place of deep love and respect for themselves? Or would I see a pattern of self-betrayal and self-destruction?
You can’t say you love yourself, but you keep putting harmful substances into your body.
You can’t say you love yourself, but you stay in environments that drain you.
You can’t say you love yourself, but your sleep schedule is a disaster.
You can’t say you love yourself, but you constantly talk down on yourself in your head. Your inner dialogue is worse than how your enemies talk about you.
You can’t say you love yourself, but you procrastinate every single goal that would elevate your life. You don’t study when you should, you postpone work, you skip prayer, you say ‘later’ to everything that would actually bring you peace and pride.
You can’t say you love yourself, but you compare your journey to people who are not even running your race. You forget your uniqueness, and you constantly reduce your worth by weighing it against someone else’s progress.
You can’t say you love yourself when you have no boundaries. Everyone has access to you. Everything gets your attention. You give yourself away so carelessly, and still call it ‘love’.
You can’t tell me you love yourself when you keep allowing toxic people unlimited access to your heart and mind, draining the very peace you say you want.
You can’t say you love yourself when you refuse to sit with your pain and heal. You suppress, distract, you numb it. And the things you refuse to heal are silently sabotaging your peace and future.
Only your head hears that you love yourself, but your body is not convinced.
Because internally, your body is always on high alert. Your nervous system is tired. Your hormones are confused. Your organs are working overtime to clean up the mess your habits keep creating.
You say you love yourself, yet your system is constantly at war, fighting off the excess sugar, the lack of sleep, the bottled-up stress, the emotional suppression, the back-to-back stimulants you call ‘coping’.
With all due respect, it doesn’t seem to me like you love yourself. At least, not the way you think you do.
Love is in the decisions you make when no one is watching. The way you preserve your peace, the way you treat your body, the way you jealously protect your time and energy, the way you show up for your goals.
It is in way you refuse to abandon yourself again and again!
Your self-love affirmations mean nothing if your daily decisions are not actively ensuring that you are in good health, at peace, and building a meaningful, successful life.
And quite honestly, I don’t even think the problem is that you do not feel love for yourself. I believe you do.
The problem I see here is that you have not YET translated that love into HABITS your body can feel, boundaries your mind can rest in, decisions your future self can smile at.
Self-love it is written in the decisions you make for yourself, not merely in the things you say about yourself.
If your older, wiser self would look back at these decisions with sadness or regret, then it is time to pause and make a change.
Because even if it feels like you’re getting away with it now, time will tell.
And time always speaks loudest…through your health, your mind, your outcomes, and the version of you that either blossoms or breaks.
Look at your life decisions again and answer .
DO YOU REALLY LOVE YOU?
LEADERSHIP BY TONY OYATEDOR
Join Mr. Tony Oyatedor Weekly on Adure Radio
DAVE’S SEAFOOD
